#684

8:54 pm, Friday, May 12th, 2006

I’m in the Tri-Cities now. Made really good time — 3 hours, 18 minutes from door to door. Didn’t end up leaving till 5:00 pm, but that was no problem as it’s still plenty light out. On the way here I mostly listened to the Panic! At the Disco album, but around Ellensburg I decided to try the 5th Horseman audiobook my mom got me last month.

What a boring book. First of all, it’s kind of a mystery/police drama thing, right? Only every single main character is a woman. For no reason at all. The medical examiner, the homicide detective, both attorneys, the reporter friend, the woman who dies over the course of the first two chapters, the attorney’s mother who ends up in the hospital where all the mysterious deaths are occurring… guh. It’s so improbable and distracting. And yes, they call each other “girlfriend” more than once. Secondly, the author describes every minute detail of the characters’ actions. I’ll paraphrase one memorably dull section:

Yuki left the courtroom, turning on her cell phone as soon as her feet hit the hall. Her fingers navigated the array of small buttons, dialing the number of the hospital. She pressed the phone tightly against one ear and clasped her hand over the other to shield her from the din of the quickly filling hall. She listened to the automated message and proceded to thread her way through the voice menu system. Finally, she pressed zero for the operator and listened to a watery rendition of The Girl from Ipanema as she waited for a ring.

I’m not exaggerating there. He actually spends multiple sentences describing phone menus. “Oh, but this must have had some significance in the story,” you might think. Nope. Totally pointless, utterly dull filler. It’s like he was struggling to meet some minimum word count set by the publisher.

Anyway, The 5th Horseman sucks. Don’t read it.

4 Responses to “#684”

  1. Roy:

    Shocking! -ro4ikgp5

  2. full_absolution:

    Just thought you’d like to know (in case you aren’t reading up on us anymore) that the IMBC is over. Finley and I made our last posts today so we can tie for first place.

    Thanks for the awesome contest, it’s been a blast! I look forward to competing in it again next year.

  3. hjo3:

    I’ve been watching the competition very closely. But nothing will be official until the 19th… who knows, one of you might sneak a valid post in at 11:59:58 pm tomorrow to steal the victory. (Heck, that’s probably what I’d do in that position.)
    :)

  4. full_absolution:

    Very sportsmanlike of you…I’ll remember that come next year :).

    But yeah, I assure you that I’m done for this year. I suppose that Finley might break our little agreement, and if he does, he’ll win. I’ve decided to trust him, and I don’t think he’d betray me.

    Still, I understand that rules are rules, and you’re the judge. I’ll await your official ruling.